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anna
19 January 2010 @ 09:37 pm
television, stop advertising cheddar biscuits. neighbors, stop thumping around at 9:30 pm.
US postal service, thank you for delivering Annie Hall to me.
-anna
 
 
anna
11 January 2010 @ 10:07 pm
 yakisoba noodles, music, and hookah are rapidly improving this long ass first day of spring quarter.
-anna
 
 
anna
07 January 2010 @ 10:20 pm
guess what? it IS hard to throw yourself into a relationship when you still aren't over someone. who would have known. weird.
today, bought glasses, sweater vests, an antique store cardigan, and a skirt with pockets. my transformation into old man is slowly but surely coming true.
also cut my bangs just barely too short, but at least they'll look good when they grow out in a few weeks.
interesting that my old man stage struck when i turned twenty.
-anna
 
 
anna
05 January 2010 @ 08:07 pm
 it's a little unsettling how serious this became, so quickly. because i don't think either of us has really ever had someone we were in a relationship with that complimented the other so well. or at least i haven't.
and hearing you say "i really, really like you" every few hours while we spend an evening listening to music in my bed means the world to me. i wasn't taking this seriously enough, because i got used to distancing myself. but i think i like it better this way.
-anna
 
 
anna
31 December 2009 @ 05:11 pm
this has been a big year in finding out who i am.
and what it means to find out who i am.
and how who i am is always changing, and a little undefinable. 
i've been missing summer. this last summer in particular; warmth, leaving my windows open, baking in the heat, fans, sitting out on the porch, reading in esther short, walking through the pearl district, timber's games at pge park, walking through mt. tabor, east mooreland garage sales, evening walks down belmont and hawthorne, walking barefoot, fourths of july, firsts, and rediscovering that part of myself that i thought was gone.
but remembering all of that just makes me miss you all over again.
goodbye, 2009. you took part of me, killed it, and then spat it out again into something else. thank you for this end of the year snow and for someone who i find very dear.
-anna
 
 
anna
19 December 2009 @ 03:37 pm
people are so tacky. sat in the vet's office for an hour today watching 50 and 60 year olds guys in sensible shoes and cargo pants walk in and out with their dogs, and women of a similar age carrying coach purses and wearing quilted down vests and ugg boots. i hope i keep some sense of my own style and personality as i age, and don't just get tired of caring. still feel like sleeping for the rest of my life. -anna
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anna
18 December 2009 @ 03:30 pm
 my lat am history prof is so nice, i could cry. i fell asleep, overslept the turn in time of 12, woke up at 3 wanting to kill myself, got onto my e-mail to find an e-mail from him noticing that i hadnt turned in my final and if i needed more time finishing it up or to let him know if i was having any trouble with it. wished i could have included in my response that i finished my final on time, i'm only retarded and sleep deprived. hopefully he's okay with it being three hours late.... -anna
 
 
anna
18 December 2009 @ 02:50 am
this has to be the worst finals week i've ever had. i've barely had 15 hours of sleep this week. food sounds disgusting. i'm disgusted by myself. i just feel like crying for an hour. i have so many things i need to do; doctor's appointment, vet appointment, christmas shopping. i have to finish this last take home final and it feels like its sucking out my soul. my back hurts. i can't focus. i'm so tired of writing essays and researching that i'm finding anything to distract me. tonight looks like its going to be another all nighter, like the other ones, because i'm afraid of falling asleep for a few hours and oversleeping and missing the turn in time. i hate how i don't have a job, how i'm such a failure that i can't even take care of myself enough to sleep or eat. i hate how socially stunted i am, how i cut myself off from people. i hate how i look, how i act, how i speak, how i feel. basically, i hate finals week. and i'd like to say that i'll feel better in nine hours when this last exam is done and turned in, but at this point i feel like i've been awake and listless for so long that it will never end.  god i don't want to work anymore. -failure
 
 
anna
17 December 2009 @ 08:58 pm
you come back to portland tomorrow. -anna Now it's the time for age of humans care, for what can be done for yourself. The in respect then out will cling itself to seeming hopefuls. Gadzooks gadzooks gadzooks! What have you got to lose? What you are is fast, the glance and telephone, ring those portable sling Deal with foggy folds you are here without consent except for your own. Records of our discontentment, will but purge since one has found it, awfully hard to keep a grimace, voltage from another's counting. We're such plants - oxygen, xylem, phloem - in the wrists, pumps to the greed of your delusion to a blind knowledge of sight from fall chosen from spring. Records of our discontentment, will but purge since one has found it; awfully hard to keep a grimace, voltage from another's counting. -Heaven's Purgatory, The Most Serene Republic
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i hear: The Most Serene Republic
 
 
anna
15 December 2009 @ 08:17 pm
i hate communicating.
-anna
 
 
anna
15 December 2009 @ 06:31 am
fml  
writing papers for finals. feeling ugly. fml.
i hate take home finals. i'd rather just go into class and get it over with.
-anna
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anna
writing an essay that's due in 49 minutes. mostly done with it. excited for grocery shopping. excited for a (possible) cat.
looking up cats at the humane society and looking up cat names is probably not a good use of my time, though.
bored. have overslept SO much over the past two weeks.
excited for christmas. even though it's like two weeks away and i've done no shopping for it whatsoever. nerds.
catcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcat.
obseeeeeeeessed.
i don't know why. but i'm in a really good mood today. i don't even know that things will last, but for now they're pretty okay. this essay is going well, despite being left till the literal last minute, my grades are acceptable, semester is almost over, and an exciting schedule for next semester is on the horizon. the weather also isn't so unbearably cold today. and i get to go grocery shopping. i looooove lovelove grocery shopping.
and soon there will be people coming home, and christmas parties and new years parties.
essay due in 43 minutes. it's supposed to be about 500 words; i'm at 482,
for december, i would like:
snow
a cat
portland lights
friends
family
longer hair
abstaining from alcohol
oh, and to stop feeling like i've gained ten pounds. kthx.


new Modest Mouse album is genius. sidenote.
-anna
 
 
i hear: no one's first and you're next - modest mouse
 
 
anna
08 December 2009 @ 09:04 pm
i think my grandmother may be getting me a cat for christmas.
christmas cat!
in other news, almost done with this silly semester. going to zoolights on friday with tyler. going grocery shopping tomorrow. watching a really weird and interesting movie for latin american history. need to write two pages on this movie (El Topo). also need to find the sheet of paper that lists requirements for this paper.
all in all, this week is quality so far. except that i got a full nine hours of sleep last night, and got home and still had to sleep for about four hours. i think there's something wrong with me.
-anna
 
 
anna
04 December 2009 @ 12:15 am
i think i had a dream last night where i felt like i was five years old again.
that is a time of my life that i would really like to recapture. for myself and for everyone else.
-anna
 
 
anna
02 December 2009 @ 12:11 am
dear life:
you are SOOOOO awkward. please get awkward boys out of my grill, because all they want is my grill.
yours truly,
anna
 
 
anna
01 December 2009 @ 07:28 pm
i think facebook may have snowballed and mutated into something horrible.
only two more weeks left of classes. i cannot describe how happy that makes me.
-anna
 
 
anna
27 November 2009 @ 02:44 am
in the crockpot is a rosemary-mint lentil soup. there is a pumpkin pie, rolls, spinach and cheese dip. tomorrow afternoon i'll make lavosh bread and b'stilla. olivia is bringing tarte au citron, and i don't know what all else will show up. this all sounds like a lovely stand-in, unconventional thanksgiving. i'm also starving at the moment.
thanksgiving at Jake's was decent. i still feel that people who eat at restaurants on thanksgiving and christmas are tacky, though.
last night i got drunk on two glasses of wine. that is, frankly, sad.
got some homework done this evening, along with cleaning extensively. productive. except now i'm super awake, but definitely need to be awake in about 7 hours.
-anna
 
 
anna
'All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.'
I think those were the best days of my life.

If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
Humming
Hmmm

If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore

No I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine

If you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You'll make a sharp one being so kind
And I'd sure appreciate it
Everyone else's goal's to get big headed
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
Better than fine.
-Waltz, Fiona Apple


sometimes i am unsure.
-anna
 
 
anna
24 November 2009 @ 07:12 pm
also, my upstairs neighbors have been increasingly loud lately. which makes me think that maybe someone else moved in without me noticing (which is not inconceivable). so either they a) walk like elephants everywhere, b) are holding weekly raves, or c) are murdering people and hiding the bodies.
i have no problem with any of these things as long as they don't involve me, but i would really rather that they didn't make my ceiling rattle.
-anna
 
 
anna
24 November 2009 @ 06:09 pm
mom called this evening to say that she and dad decided they weren't up to putting together a thanksgiving dinner, so we have reservations at Jake's tomorrow in Portland. while i entirely sympathize with all this and am not upset by it, the residual bit of childhood self that is still hanging on is crying.
in other news, sexy jager tuesday and sweater franzia wednesday are promising. except i may not make it to jager tuesday in favor of hanging out with a boy. but sweater franzia wednesday w/ hookah and christmas music and art schoolers (including twin) sound like the best time ever. hello, hungover thanksgiving.
excited for this disney movie. even if it does suck. but the trailers look promising.
this week so far has been halfway productive. but mostly it's just been social.
-anna
 
 
 
 

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